The Lone Wolf

Will the Wolf ever find a suitable mate? Time is my friend, but men are not. I've been feeling rejected by attractive men with personalities since Ryan broke up with me...I have to ask myself, "Is he the best I could've done?" Such a dangerous question, but a valid one...I do believe that I deserve to have a boyfriend who is both a good person and attractive to me, but every time I search for such a person, I come up short or with a compromise. I'm depressed...I don't want to search for the Truth alone, and yet, here I am, seeking, all alone. Believe me when I tell you, it's not all innocent, my hormones are raging too. However, everytime I keep seeing my friends get paired up, I wonder if I am meant to be alone. I had someone I loved, and it did not last. I wonder all the time if I have lost that opportunity altogether, to truly have someone to love. Whenever I think back, all I can think about is him. I don't wanna feel this way, I want my life back. And while things are much better than they used to be, the wounds are still there, and I cannot help but feel like I am being forced to stay behind everyone else in this game. It definitely doesn't help that men I would not consider my type or within my age set are attracted to me. Most of them are hardly attractive and even if they are intelligent, I do have some expectation when it comes to appearance, come on! Where are you, my heart, I need you back...and I don't mean Ryan, I mean my effing heart! I need it so I can give it to someone else. Now the problem is who...